ANDY ROONEY SAYS...
"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a
few reasons why:
"An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, 'What
are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
"If an older woman doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around
whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it's usually
something more interesting.
"An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what
she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a
damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
"Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at
the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you
deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away
"Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what
it's like to be unappreciated.
"An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women
friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend
because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. An older woman couldn't
care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends
won't betray her.
"Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an
older woman. They always know.
"An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of
younger women or drag queens.
"Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a
jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you
stand with her.
"Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not
reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is
a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some
22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. "
Andy Rooney Says ...