I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the
prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully
enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us
not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."
One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up" during the
morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of
order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little
fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before
reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the
congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as
we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy,
don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to
church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping,"
The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike and as he preached, he
moved briskly about the platform, jerking the Mike cord as he went. Then he
moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before
jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third
pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt
Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together in
church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had
enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men
standing by the door? They're hushers."
A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year old son ran up
to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead
in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up I'm going
to give you some money."
"Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"
"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year
old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord why on earth did I invite all
these people to dinner?"
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were
ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what
it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the
covers off the neighbor's wife."
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including
human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed
especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of
Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he was
in pain. When asked what was wrong Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain
in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife!"
This last one is out of the mouth of a 3 year old boy: "Our father, who does
art in heaven, Howard is his name...."