Bull Market – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market – A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance the wife
gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

Momentum Investing – The fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value Investing – The Art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E Ratio – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
keeps crashing.

Broker – Poorer than you were last year.

“Buy, Buy” – A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step
off the plane.

Standard & Poor –Your life in a nutshell.

Stock Analyst – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

Financial Planner – A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to
the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.

Market Correction – The day after you buy stocks.

Cash Flow – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the

Call Option – Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times
before email.

Day Trader – Someone who is disloyal from 9-5.

Cisco – Sidekick of Pancho.

Yahoo – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

Windows 2000 – What you jump out of when you’re the sucker that bought
Yahoo for $240 per share.

Institutional investor – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nut house.

Profit – Religious guy who talks to God.

Bill Gates – Where God goes for a loan.

Alan Greenspan – God.

Author Unknown
New Stock Market