Subject: THE DUMBEST DUCK HUNTERS ON THE PLANET
A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly payments of
$560.00). He and a friend go duck hunting in midwinter; and of course all of
the lakes are frozen. These two guys go on a lake with their GUNS, a DOG,
and of course the new NAVIGATOR.
They decide they want to make a natural looking water area for the ducks,
something for the decoys to float on. Now making a hole in the ice large
enough to invite a passing duck, is going to take a little more power than the
average drill auger can produce.
So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a
short 40 second-fuse. Now our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip
on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming toast,
along with the Navigator), decide on the following course of action: they light
the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of
dynamite as far away as possible.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR,
the GUNS, and the DOG...??? Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained
Black Lab used for RETRIEVING. Especially for retrieving things thrown by
You guessed it: the dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and
grabs the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse, just as it hits the
The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their
necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to
stop. The dog, now apparently cheered on by his master, keeps coming.
One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is
loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab, especially at
that distance. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused then continues
on. Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really
confused and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone
insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator, with
the dynamite still in his mouth (remember, he is a highly trained retriever!).
The men continue to scream as they run. The Navigator's engine is still
running so the exhaust pipe is hot. The red hot pipe on the truck touches the
dogs rear end, he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and scurries
away, tail between his legs, confused and running for his master.
The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the two
idiots standing there with "I can't believe this just happened" looks on their
The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of
explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. And he still had yet to make the
first of those $560.00 a month payments.... The dog is okay....
The Dumbest Duck Hunters